Saturday, December 23, 2006

At last, humour on this blog...

WARNING: Harebrained piece of prose follows… Proceed at your own peril…

I am being held at gunpoint and forced to write this. At the trigger (or is it a rifle loaded with buckshot?) stands the exalted royal heir to the Dept. of English throne, ordering me to type faster and meet the deadline for the wall magazine, ready to blow my brains (if any) out. I have been asked to provide a piece of prose that should be ‘cynical, funny,’ and ‘will be appreciated’. Déjà vu. Reminds me of the last St. Valentine’s Day when my then-girlfriend asked me to gift something that could serve as a cellphone and a PC, and which ‘wouldn’t be too heavy’ on my pocket. I handed in my resignation…

Allow me a moment of self-pity, dear reader, as I wipe away the last remnant of those sentimental times, meandering down my cratered face. But then again, I digress… Am I not supposed to be writing something fulfilling the above criteria?

Right, so here we go. Cynical… umm… A rhetorical question stems from my dull, earlier heat-oppressed and now chill-numbed brain… (hooray it exists!) Can one be cynical when faced with such a predicament? Reminds me of the clichéd phrase ‘Catch-22 situation’, which is often used for such a circumstance, and yet, inexplicably, its etymology is never elucidated upon. My captor is giving me a pretty mean stare right now, which means I better get back to the point… Err… Which was?

Oh yes the promised prose-piece… Now lets see… Funny… Oh yeah I’ve got something to write for that category… Ever wondered why obscure, sometimes unknown people scrap you on that maniacal, addictive, waste-of-time website called Orkut, just to pass their time of day? Sometimes I feel that Orkut is a wonderful advertisement, post-mortem, for Mr. Samuel Beckett and his Waiting for Godot… At the very least, it seems to be a more ‘constructive’ way to pass the time than those poor existential-double-bound tramps… Err… You didn’t find that funny, did you? Well, what do you expect! I’ve got a (insert swear-word here) GUN pointing at my forehead!

I seem to have reached the end of my wits (and the end of my tether too). Exhausted by the effort of trying to cook up a piece as commissioned by my captor, I now resign myself to fate, hoping the eternal hope that at least the third criterion, which lies in your response to this, shall provide me with an epitaph… Goodbye everybody… {GUNSHOT}

Thursday, December 21, 2006

On with the show...

The spotlight gazes its gazely stare
He stands at its focal point
The deer caught in the headlights
Nowhere to run or hide
As the curtain rises
To a warm applause from the audience
The semicircle of humanity
Staring fixedly at the object of focus
Here he goes, playing star again...
Chief antagonist of this well scripted tragedy,
Titled 'LIFE'...
No Shakespeare could pen a play as perfect
No Aristotle dare comment
'I am not what I am'...
Motiveless malign? or
Hapless victim of circumstance?
Quit complaining and act!
The show must go on...


Monday, December 04, 2006

the show must go on...

a friend of mine once said to me, 'shit happens. and when it rains, it pours...' a bad example of a mixed metaphor, but a good example of sound advice...

so here i am at 1am writing out a new entry, having found a new belief in my friend's observation... had a terrible day that led me to remark, 'here's december, all over again...' meaning basically that december more often than not turns out to be the beginning of my new year of troubles... but then, who am i kidding? everyone has troubles... everyone goes thru a lot of tumult; i atleast get a few days' respite between its phases... im not complaining, but sometimes i think my life is no different from others' - it is majorly fucked up too...

troubles come and go like the women in my favourite poem, TS Eliot's 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock'... on a tangent, there's some anonymous chap who's troubled enough it seems to keep posting comments on my blog, and yet is careful enough not to reveal his identity. to u dude, if ur reading this post, here's a surprise... i know who u are. if u think ur 'God' and no one else has brains enough to figure out ur 'elementary' hints, uh-huh! here's a reality check...

anyway back to the troubles... or rather, let them be... let them come n go, for life wouldnt be life without them... in the words of Queen, immortalised by the dying Freddie Mercury -

Whatever happens I'll leave it all to chance
Another heartache, another failed romance
On and on, does anybody know what we are living for
I guess I'm learning
I must be warmer now
I'll soon be turning round the corner now
Outside the dawn is breaking
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free

The show must go on, the show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking, but my smile... still stays on...

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